The Demon Within

You are always here,

Whispering in my ear,

Saying all the things I fear,

Until I’m nothing but a single tear.

Confirming every bad thought,

You make me sick with rot,

Shame and guilt are all you’ve brought,

Until I feel all but nought.

Telling me nothing but lies,

Until all I can do is despise,

I beg for some allies,

But all I can do is apologise.

The thoughts keep me twisted inside,

I turn to run and hide,

But all I can is agonise,

As the ship around me starts to capsize.

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The Mist

For once the land reflects how I feel,

Like boiling water on frozen steel,

I cannot see another thing,

Finally alone my soul could sing.

The street could be full of dark creatures,

Be hosting a late night feature,

You would never be able to tell,

For I’ve never seen mist so swell.

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The Anniversary Reaction

For weeks I have been trying to write this post, I only manage to just get through it and then I delete everything in its entirety. I didn’t understand why it would be so hard to speak about, I speak about a lot of topics that would be considered harder to talk about, but then I realised it was because I was ashamed of backsliding.

I have been doing so well recently, taking the steps to tackle my traumas, and I just didn’t want to admit that I had let myself down. I was going back to old habits, not taking care of myself as I usually would, and becoming withdrawn. I became scared to comment on any other blogs or anyone going through a hard time on Twitter because I’d forgotten how to help people having a bad day.Read More »

The Doctors

I went in terrified that I would get no plan, that I would be deemed unworthy but the story did not turn out the way I thought, it was worse. As I waited on my behind doctor a drunk woman was screaming about waiting, and I knew I would be next because unlike her I came in about five minutes before my appointment.

She would comment loudly after other people were asked in, I was very worried about her erupting when the doctor came out to see me but instead something else happened. The fire alarm went off, imagine a high pitched noise that would never end, we waited to be told what to do thinking it was just a drill.

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