Christmas Past

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The holidays come with a huge weight of grief for me, but it wasn’t always this way, I used to love this time of year so much. From the first of December, I would be singing carols to myself, smiling at all the Christmas cheer, and taking part in every holiday-related activity I could think of.

The past three years have been different, too different for my liking, I complain about the season now more than ever. Before it was never about the presents but about the company of loved ones, now it is something I am trying to ignore as much as possible. The stress of it sends my mental health into a tailspin and before I know it I can’t leave the house

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Why I forgave my Mother

This is very hard for me, my mother basically raised me and looked after my blind Father at the same time. He was let go from work about a year after I was born, money was always tight during my entire childhood, and I was very much aware of it. For Christmas, I wouldn’t ask for much after I found out in Primary four that Santa was my parents, and I never expected anything on my birthday.

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Insomnia or Anxiety?

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I don’t usually post during the middle of the night, last week all I did was sleep, but for the past two nights I’ve tossed and turned with the best them. I just seem to have so much overwhelming stuff going on right now, I’m staring down the barrel of grief, I’m recovering from a traumatic event I had a year and a half ago, I’ve been given a date for a tribunal against my PIP decision which has, in turn, caused money issues, and I’ve reported my landlord for the poor state of repair that this house has given me.

Right now it feels like it would be easier to tell what I’m not worried about!

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