Trapped within despair,
Gulping to take in air,
Heaviness takes over a gaping chest,
Thoughts become obsessed.
Fear lingers around my soul,
Stopping me from becoming whole,
Throwing me into the giant mess,
Moments that I have long repressed.
She can see the sadness of her new face,
It’s as visible as a tear on newly embroidered lace,
No matter how much she laughs and smiles,
The lady’s face still shows the bitter trials.
Her grief is standing by her side,
Some days she can take it in her stride,
To harness it within her own art,
Before it returns to rip her apart.
I’d like to start by saying sorry for not being as active, I’ve been rather down about Mothers Day, which has been seriously affecting my mood and almost two weeks later it is now the due date for the child I miscarried back in September.
The darkness has swallowed me up these past few weeks, to a point where I can’t do anything but sit in a darkened room staring into space, I can’t be of any help to anyone right now
I will not get a card from my kids today,
No flowers will be delivered on this Mothering Sunday,
I will not wake up to breakfast in bed,
This day will always be one I completely dread.
I will not receive the customary perfume,
My day will be filled with constant doom and gloom,
I will not hear that I am the best mother in the world,
Choosing to stay on the cold floor broken and curled.
On the darkest of nights, I see myself curled up on the floor,
I cry and I plead, “I cannot take it anymore.”
Isolated among some dench and darkened trees,
Grief could forever keep me among the leaves.
The thought of staying enters my mind,
Here I can be left to rot amongst the vine,
But my body wants me to be free,
To vanquish the howling banshee.
Wrapped inside a great cocoon,
With no way to tell the sun from the moon,
Cannot feel the wind on my face,
Or the rain soaking through me as I run with haste.
Stagnant inside with nothing to do,
Cannot escape what I’m going through,
I have to stay still in this place,
The process is not a race.
I walk through life in a haze,
Running through a never-ending maze,
Ignoring what’s in front of me,
With these eyes, I cannot see.
Stumbling through the dark,
Trying to find the light,
The one single spark,
That can save me from the plight.Read More »
