Self Sabotage

March 29, 2019March 29, 2019 The Lady Prince1 Comment

I cannot stop, I feel as if I have been hit by a bus but I cannot stop, because if I stop I’ll think about things and if I think about things I won’t be able to keep going. Is it even worth it? I feel like I am getting nowhere, my mind is in pieces and just when I think I’ve finally cracked the puzzle more pieces get dumped on top of me.

I don’t seem to fit anymore, I can’t find that passion that fuels me, I don’t know where I belong anymore. I wanted to give answers to those people who are going through similar things from my past. But I am not healthy, I don’t have answers, and I definitely do not feel better; pain is all I feel.

Christmas Past (Part Two)

December 17, 2018December 17, 2018 The Lady PrinceLeave a comment

Today we continue our look into the Christmases of my past, in order to remember the good moments and the lessons learned throughout the years.

Christmas with Granny

When I was growing up my granny was my very favourite person, she always had a hug and a cake for me, and stood up for me when I needed it. One year she came to Christmas Dinner when I was four, I was really excited because I loved my granny, but also so I could show off my Minnie mouse roller skates.

Brother

December 9, 2018December 9, 2018 The Lady PrinceLeave a comment

You were meant to watch over me,

The only one that could hear or see,

Leaving at the first chance you got,

Taking the bait and leaving me to rot.

Mother took her pain out on me,

Until you came back for a spot of tea,

You would disappear for months at a time,

Laughing and joking as you drank your wine.

Running on empty…

November 2, 2018November 3, 2018 The Lady PrinceLeave a comment

Today it feels like my brain is just running on empty, I am so terribly tired and I have a hunch it is to do with blogtober. You see I have been basically grieving as I’ve been taking part, it has been so great to share my feelings about what has just happened to me and everything I was going through at the time, but now my brain is so tired.

I did it! Happy Halloween!

October 31, 2018November 3, 2018 The Lady PrinceLeave a comment

I love Halloween but this year I’m extra glad it’s here because I made it, blogging every day for thirty-one days straight! It is completely knackering, I’ve been up obsessing over posts, putting myself down, and completely frazzled at times but I did it!

It hasn’t hurt my passion for writing at all, I thought I’d be sick of it all by now, but if anything I am more passionate about it than I was. I thought for this post I would list all the things that blogtober has taught me.

I socialised in an unfamiliar environment!

October 30, 2018November 3, 2018 The Lady PrinceLeave a comment

Important Announcement at end of post!

Yesterday I spent the entire day relaxing, watching Netflix, painting my nails a bright colour, gave myself a facial, and wrote. I did it all so I would feel relaxed and calm today. You see I’d been worried about going out all week, the lady I was going out to see is absolutely lovely and we always had a great friendship.

Let me sleep!

October 28, 2018November 3, 2018 The Lady PrinceLeave a comment

Anxiety has been rearing its ugly head of late, we are looking to move as soon as we possibly can and I absolutely hate moving. I hate it more than anything if I’m being honest, it is the most stressful thing in the world to me, but the house we are in is causing me so much more stress than anything else combined.

Vet Appointment and a Party

October 27, 2018November 3, 2018 The Lady PrinceLeave a comment

Today I had to take my cat to the vet to have his annual booster jag and his six monthly health check. Every time I go into the vets I always assume the worst is going to happen as if my cat is going to die on the table, but he didn’t. He was absolutely fine, just needs to go get his teeth cleaned in a few weeks.

Grief and Falling.

October 26, 2018November 3, 2018 The Lady PrinceLeave a comment

Behind every action grief is underneath it all, some days I feel absolutely great and I think I’ve broken through. But grief is lying in wait, underneath all the happiness, it only takes something small to bring it out and then I feel like I am back in that room being told there is no baby. Hope is such a fickle thing, I don’t have any hope at all, it evaporated a long time ago.

I went outside!

October 23, 2018November 3, 2018 The Lady Prince7 Comments

I really didn’t want to go, I was really quiet on the way to the shops, didn’t want to gab with my Dad like I usually do, but I did it. I am feeling pretty agoraphobic right now, outside causes a lot of my problems but I didn’t keep my head in my phone as I always do, forcing myself to look at all the many beautiful colours that come with Autumn.

The Lady Prince

Words to help me survive.

Tag: lonely

Grief and Falling.