Where does this Fear come from?

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I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t petrified in one way or another. I’m not sure why I am this way, I cannot justify it, being scared has always been a part of my life.

For a long time I tried to understand where the fear came from, has it been from all the bad things in my past? Did something else happen to me at an even younger age?

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Am I Jenny of Oldstones?

For those of you who have seen Game of Thrones or are a Florance + the Machine fan you may know the reference to Jenny of Oldstones, for those of you that don’t let me explain.

Jenny of Oldstones is basically someone who went through the great tragedy of losing not only her husband but also her son in a great fire, many other casualties were also taken and when it all was said and done she decided to live on in her burnt castle.

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Fork in the Road

I have been staring at a fork in the road for a long time, I am scared to go down any of those roads I have built inside my head, just hoping that one day I will eventually make a decision. I am starting to get tired of all that staring, and I just want to make a decision already.

That, however, is not how recovery works, I could still be at this impasse for a very long time. Instead of forcing myself to make a decision about my life I need to know that it’s ok to stay here, as long as I focus on my recovery.Read More »