I don’t want to hear carolling,
My heart needs some consoling,
The season lost by a missing piece,
It’s once bright magic has decreased.
As I hung decorations on my tree,
The pain shrieked like a banshee,
An empty stocking hung by the fire,
No gift could give me what I desire.
The empty space will always be,
A holiday which once brought glee,
Now brings sorrow in it’s wake,
It’s too much for one soul to take.
The light had quickly faded from its bright start,
Yet continued burning as though it had heart,
Complications soon started heading its way,
And this tiny flame was obviously going to pay.
The world revolves around the sun,
Winter, Spring, Summer, now Autumn has come,
Season’s change and I still think of you,
My purpose in life is now askew.
I try so very hard to put on a smile,
A laugh as I pretend not to think for a while.
Underneath I feel like I could explode,
But only I know the disarm code.
The needle is stuck playing the same track,
All the memories play back to back,
Horror crammed with every sick act,
Although not every moment is exact.
Losing the use of all my facilities,
Those around me become liabilities,
Trapped in my ghastly past,
Present-day is a sharp contrast.
It has been a year since my last miscarriage, tests from Tommys keep being pushed back every few months, in this time I have kept hoping that we will find the problem but after a year it’s being to feel hopeless.
I’m another year older than I was, another year with terrible mental health, and I honestly feel that I have achieved nothing. That’s not true, however, so I thought I’d list my achievements none the less.
I’ve been adrift for a long time,
Without any reason or rhyme,
Deserted amongst the normal,
Wearing jeans to a black-tie formal.Read More »
A clock turns to midnight,
The will o’ the wisps come alight,
Leading to what you want so much,
Ten fingers and ten toes to touch.
