Trial by Media (Short Story)

Last night I went to write about the effects of seasonal affective disorder and this short story just flew right out of me. I’m not usually one to share this type of post or even writing short stories in the first place but I thought I would post this anyway as it seemed important to write about this from another perspective.

I hope it’s not too terrible.

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Christmas

Happy Christmas Eve Eve as Pheobe would say, that time of year is almost upon us and I’m counting down the days until its over. I’ve wrapped all my presents, I’ve put up my decorations, and I have finally gotten the cards done. I didn’t want to do any of it, but my house is a sparkle of tinsel and fairy lights.

This year would have always been hard when you think of you’re lost children and the potential of what could have been. The older child who would know the big secret, the toddler who would be hatching a plan with the cat to pull down the tree, and the little one growing in my belly. It all seems perfect in my mind, but that’s not the picture that has been painted for me.Read More »

Christmas Past (Part Two)

Today we continue our look into the Christmases of my past, in order to remember the good moments and the lessons learned throughout the years.

Christmas with Granny

When I was growing up my granny was my very favourite person, she always had a hug and a cake for me, and stood up for me when I needed it. One year she came to Christmas Dinner when I was four, I was really excited because I loved my granny, but also so I could show off my Minnie mouse roller skates.

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Christmas Past

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The holidays come with a huge weight of grief for me, but it wasn’t always this way, I used to love this time of year so much. From the first of December, I would be singing carols to myself, smiling at all the Christmas cheer, and taking part in every holiday-related activity I could think of.

The past three years have been different, too different for my liking, I complain about the season now more than ever. Before it was never about the presents but about the company of loved ones, now it is something I am trying to ignore as much as possible. The stress of it sends my mental health into a tailspin and before I know it I can’t leave the house

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What would I say to my eleven-year-old self?

My therapist asked me this and I was really stumped by it; I’d never thought of it this way. It’s taken me a while to think about it, but I think I’m ready to talk about it now, so here goes, if I could speak to my eleven-year-old self what would I say?

Life will be hard

It will be so much harder for you to navigate through all the hardships that are coming your way, you’ll think that you possibly couldn’t take any more hardship, but you’ll be wrong. You will need to claw yourself back from the abyss on a few occasions, you don’t think you’ll make it at times, but you’re still here.

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