Today you would have been three.
Oh, the things you would see,
A party in the sunshine with our clan,
Finally able to hug your Gran.
Read More »Your Special Day
Tag: Baby loss
Wave of Light
The light had quickly faded from its bright start,
Yet continued burning as though it had heart,
Complications soon started heading its way,
And this tiny flame was obviously going to pay.
I’m not ok.
Today marks the end of Baby Loss Awareness Week, this is always honestly really hard for me as it brings up memories at the wrong time of year as it takes place between miscarriage number two and three.
For those of you that don’t know I nearly died from the second triggering a change of events which lead to a PTSD diagnosis, the first anniversary of my third was just last month, so right now I feel like I can’t get a break from it.
Will O’ The Wisps
A clock turns to midnight,
The will o’ the wisps come alight,
Leading to what you want so much,
Ten fingers and ten toes to touch.
Goodbye.
Tonight I say goodbye,
I promised myself I wouldn’t cry,
This room connects me to a happy time,
But most of my stay here has been an uphill climb.
Living in Fear
Trapped within despair,
Gulping to take in air,
Heaviness takes over a gaping chest,
Thoughts become obsessed.
Fear lingers around my soul,
Stopping me from becoming whole,
Throwing me into the giant mess,
Moments that I have long repressed.
Am I Jenny of Oldstones?
For those of you who have seen Game of Thrones or are a Florance + the Machine fan you may know the reference to Jenny of Oldstones, for those of you that don’t let me explain.
Jenny of Oldstones is basically someone who went through the great tragedy of losing not only her husband but also her son in a great fire, many other casualties were also taken and when it all was said and done she decided to live on in her burnt castle.
So my therapist told me to stop talking about mental health…
It was almost a month ago when she asked me to stop talking about my mental health, which has totally thrown me when I talk about my mental health on my blog a lot.
It’s sort of made me freeze up when it comes to what I am going to talk about here, yes I can talk about other aspects of my life, or what I’ve been through, but I’m still not quite sure what to do.Read More »
To my third child.
I’d like to start by saying sorry for not being as active, I’ve been rather down about Mothers Day, which has been seriously affecting my mood and almost two weeks later it is now the due date for the child I miscarried back in September.
The darkness has swallowed me up these past few weeks, to a point where I can’t do anything but sit in a darkened room staring into space, I can’t be of any help to anyone right now
My Mothers Day
I will not get a card from my kids today,
No flowers will be delivered on this Mothering Sunday,
I will not wake up to breakfast in bed,
This day will always be one I completely dread.
I will not receive the customary perfume,
My day will be filled with constant doom and gloom,
I will not hear that I am the best mother in the world,
Choosing to stay on the cold floor broken and curled.
