The world revolves around the sun,
Winter, Spring, Summer, now Autumn has come,
Season’s change and I still think of you,
My purpose in life is now askew.
I try so very hard to put on a smile,
A laugh as I pretend not to think for a while.
Underneath I feel like I could explode,
But only I know the disarm code.
When victims come forward to any sort of abuse the question, “Why did they?” is asked, I was asked these questions by every person around me who knew.
The question aimed at me after rape and abuse was, “Why did I let it happen?” But then I started to hear what was being asked behind my back.Read More »
Fear has left my body stuck to the chair,
I have no reason to be held there,
Silence creeps throughout the realm,
As the terror grows stronger than an elm.
With no idea as to what is happening,
This dismay has become baffling,
Feeling trapped without means of escape,
Looking for a saviour with a red cape.
As a child I was very superstitious; never utter the phrase “Bloody Mary,” in the mirror, never step on a crack, and always look out for danger on Friday the 13th because it will find you.
Looking back my imagination fed my anxieties, every time a mirror was in front of me I saw what would happen if I uttered that phrase, and going to school on Friday the 13th meant monsters hid around every corner.
Silenced by a privileged few,
Will we believe their latest spew?
Undemocratic will of the rich,
Lying that it will go on without a glitch.
The needle is stuck playing the same track,
All the memories play back to back,
Horror crammed with every sick act,
Although not every moment is exact.
Losing the use of all my facilities,
Those around me become liabilities,
Trapped in my ghastly past,
Present-day is a sharp contrast.
It has been a year since my last miscarriage, tests from Tommys keep being pushed back every few months, in this time I have kept hoping that we will find the problem but after a year it’s being to feel hopeless.
I’m another year older than I was, another year with terrible mental health, and I honestly feel that I have achieved nothing. That’s not true, however, so I thought I’d list my achievements none the less.
