I flap.

It will come as no surprise to most of you to learn that I am a flapper, the rest of you probably haven’t heard the term. A flapper is not some weird sea creature but someone who panics and gets agitated with themselves.

I flap therefore I am, at times I think I was born to flap, as somehow it’s encoded into my DNA. I’m always trying to find the answers to everything but could it be I was just made this way?

Read More »

New Tomorrow?

It feels as though I let you all down,

The grey cloud above the perfect town,

A caterpillar who won’t become a butterfly,

Silent nothings that haunt your battle cry.

Patches of frost on newly bloomed rose,

A tiny hole in your beautiful new clothes,

The ugly duck in a lake filled with swans,

Decaying rust that muddies antique bronze.

Read More »

The Autumn Trees.

As she sits on her chair watching the leaves change,

The feeling of joy seems somewhat strange,

People below are always to busy to notice,

Its beauty is being appreciated by the poetess.

All she can see is the magnificent autumn trees,

How they dance in the slightest hint of a breeze,

The road below her is busy and congested,

But when she stares out she always feels rested.

Read More »

The High That Comes After The Crushing Low

Many of you may have experienced this short time in which you feel truly fortunate to have gotten through the worst part of your condition, it’s almost as if the sheer act of feeling less horrible causes a light to shine in the darkness.

These tiny moments are enough for me to hope that one day this feeling will last longer, that one day the anxiety and depression inside me will slowly begin to fade until bad days are few and far between.

Read More »

I’m not ok.

wave-of-light-candle1887804749.jpg

Today marks the end of Baby Loss Awareness Week, this is always honestly really hard for me as it brings up memories at the wrong time of year as it takes place between miscarriage number two and three.

For those of you that don’t know I nearly died from the second triggering a change of events which lead to a PTSD diagnosis, the first anniversary of my third was just last month, so right now I feel like I can’t get a break from it.

Read More »