It’s a rather lonely existence,
To be kept at a distance,
Watching as people go on,
Feeling like your wrong.
Effortless as they lead,
Tales of wonder and mead,
A perfect life without you,
The sad one who feels blue.
You start to blame yourself,
It was your mental health,
Self-hatred begins to fester,
The ever internal protestor.
But it wasn’t your mistake,
There are two sides in a break,
Sometimes people just drift apart,
But they can live on in your heart.
This poem is dedicated to my best friend from high school, it is one of the relationships in my life that I blamed myself for losing but did I really lose it?
It will always be a part of me, and although I’ve blamed myself for our parting of ways, it wasn’t really anyone’s fault.
We drifted apart after she had her baby, I tried to be there for her as much as I could but life got in the way, and she would always try to get back to me but never did.
It wasn’t anyone’s fault, it just happened, and I have had so many sleepless nights wondering what I did wrong.
I always thought she left because of my break down after leaving my abusive ex, this is why I blamed myself, but the more I look back the more I see.
It was just life. This is why I am sharing this story because anxiety made me believe I was to blame when all along it was just one of those things.
Thanks for reading,