I’m not ok.

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Today marks the end of Baby Loss Awareness Week, this is always honestly really hard for me as it brings up memories at the wrong time of year as it takes place between miscarriage number two and three.

For those of you that don’t know I nearly died from the second triggering a change of events which lead to a PTSD diagnosis, the first anniversary of my third was just last month, so right now I feel like I can’t get a break from it.

I understand that awareness is paramount, especially since miscarriage is still being talked about in whispers, so I plod along as best as I can trying to deal with the memories and the pain.

It’s why I am so sporadic in my writing, why I haven’t been able to go and speak to my therapist; not because she wouldn’t help but because I cannot travel alone.

Trying as best as I can to focus on other matters, to make my life all about self-care, but sometimes all you have to do is shout from the rooftops that you are not ok.

I’m going through some stuff right now and I’m not ok.

Let’s hope that helps.

Thanks for reading,

Em.

P.S. Tonight the wave of light will take place at 7 pm, to mark an end to Baby Loss Awareness Week we light a candle for each loss be it for our own, our family, or our friends.

Forming a wave of light in the darkness, we bring hope and remembrance to all those children that we lost.

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