It was almost a month ago when she asked me to stop talking about my mental health, which has totally thrown me when I talk about my mental health on my blog a lot.
It’s sort of made me freeze up when it comes to what I am going to talk about here, yes I can talk about other aspects of my life, or what I’ve been through, but I’m still not quite sure what to do.
If I am being honest I really hope that this post will help me unearth that answer and be a focal point of this website going forward.
Who am I?
Well, I am a woman who has had a lot of stumbles in different aspects of her life, career, abuse, loss, but that isn’t who I am. I am a listener, a carer, an empath, and I’ve always lived a rich life inside my head.
I am fiercely loyal to those people I love, I am good deep down inside at my core, but I am not perfect and I have made a lot of mistakes along the way.
A lot of my time has been dedicated to understanding why I ended up in bad situations or trying to find the answers to questions that don’t really have any.
I can be quick to anger sometimes especially when I feel overwhelmed like I said not perfect, but sometimes that anger will be directed towards defending my loved ones.
I use humour as a coping mechanism, always towards my own feelings, I would never mock anyone else, and I’m pretty sure it’s from always feeling the need to cheer everyone else up.
What have I always wanted to do?
Since I have been little I have always wanted to write a book that normalised my mental health, for a long time I thought I was alone and broken.
For a long time, I wanted to work in music, I wrote songs to cope with the feelings I was having. I didn’t necessarily think I would ever have the confidence to go on stage after I began feeling anxious about everything but writing music was my goal.
I always enjoyed drawing and creating art, but I never wanted it to be anything other than a hobby, my own way to cope with my emotions without sharing anything.
Then I decided to grow up and go to university to become a lawyer, I wanted to help people that were suffering but then I realised that most people don’t work in the areas I wanted to help in for a reason. They either don’t exist in their area or are so tiny they don’t take on many employees.
After university, I floated back to blogging, focusing mostly on the entertainment I enjoyed, I could honestly talk about the things I love all day. Then came the incident and I decided to take a step away from that eventually starting this site.
What do I do when I’m not writing?
I watch a lot of tv, I really love TV shows and it really helps me unwind when I am feeling overwhelmed. I play some video games, I am currently playing Celeste which I was hoping to talk about here until I was told no mental health talk.
I will drift in and out of certain hobbies, knitting, reading, drawing, and photography are probably my main hobbies.
What would I do if I didn’t write?
I really couldn’t answer that question, I couldn’t imagine myself doing anything else, but if I had to pick I’d probably be either try to work in the music industry or I’d be an artist.
I think a part of me would also love to be a counsellor to help people through what I’ve been through but my true dreams seem to be more focused on creativity.
Why do I have to stop writing about mental health?
It’s mostly until I begin to get to a place where I can manage my own mental health, my own grief, and get to a place where I can help people without it sending me spiralling along with them.
I really wish I could continue to share my journey and try to really help others but I can’t. I will still be writing poetry inspired by my own mental health so it’s not a total loss.
What will I focus on next?
I’m still not entirely quite sure just yet, I would love to have an answer for you right now but I don’t, but I would like to hear what areas you would like to see me tackle.
I think personally I should focus on all my passions but I would like your input so feel free to comment below or on any of my social media sites which you can find at the very top of this page.
I look forward to our journey together.