I have been staring at a fork in the road for a long time, I am scared to go down any of those roads I have built inside my head, just hoping that one day I will eventually make a decision. I am starting to get tired of all that staring, and I just want to make a decision already.

That, however, is not how recovery works, I could still be at this impasse for a very long time. Instead of forcing myself to make a decision about my life I need to know that it’s ok to stay here, as long as I focus on my recovery.

Fear of failure does play a huge part in this, but that’s not the only thing that leaves me staring at the road in front of me. I think instead of putting myself down for not being able to move forward, I should instead focus on each day as it comes.

The future will always be there, I shouldn’t force myself to make a decision when I am not ready to do so. Instead, I will get to know the person beneath the mental health issues, and maybe then I can believe in myself enough to move forward.

Thanks for reading,

Em.

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