I took a much needed full week away from blogging, I constantly felt as though I was letting everyone down by doing this, but after some much-needed therapy (first since holiday season) last week I came to the conclusion that I had to walk away for a short time.

Not that I wanted to but I really had to do it, you see I couldn’t stop crying, every day I would just ball my eyes out crying, and it wasn’t until I spoke to my therapist that I realised it was grief.

I wasn’t grieving before, I was in some giant state of shock for almost three months then December just broke me. I thought I’d feel better after the holidays so I pushed through trying to put a time on when I would feel better.

But grief doesn’t work that way, I cannot put a time limit on it, I will feel this way until it gets a tiny bit better, then I will continue to climb out of its grasp day by day.

It’s not a wobble, or a stumble this time, it is full-blown grief, and it is my time to go through it. This time I am letting myself go through the process and I’m not locking it down or trying to control it.

I’m here, I’m grieving, and I’m OK with it!