Reflect and Regret

The candles appear on the cake,

While my soul begins to ache,

All the negative experiances in my life,

Begin to cause me so much strife.

I have to be nice to myself,

But like old editions left on the shelf,

The dust fogs up my brain,

As I feel like I’m going insane.

The negative thoughts just come and go,

As my mind begins to woe,

Old habits die hard,

As I read my birthday card.

Why would anyone want to celebrate me?

I cannot even make myself a cup of tea,

I put myself down at every turn,

As my mind begins to burn.

I don’t want to see anyone today,

As my body begins to pay,

The price for all that abuse,

Because I was so obtuse.

This week marks my birthday, this is always a bad time for my anxiety, forcing myself to interact with people, and having to go outside. It also makes me reflect on my life, which never goes well, as I begin to pick at every negative experience in my life.

I promised my Therapist I would be nice to myself, which is so hard for me, but every time I’ve had a negative thought I force myself to say nice things about myself. It doesn’t stop the negativity but it does make me feel better.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s