The candles appear on the cake,
While my soul begins to ache,
All the negative experiances in my life,
Begin to cause me so much strife.
I have to be nice to myself,
But like old editions left on the shelf,
The dust fogs up my brain,
As I feel like I’m going insane.
The negative thoughts just come and go,
As my mind begins to woe,
Old habits die hard,
As I read my birthday card.
Why would anyone want to celebrate me?
I cannot even make myself a cup of tea,
I put myself down at every turn,
As my mind begins to burn.
I don’t want to see anyone today,
As my body begins to pay,
The price for all that abuse,
Because I was so obtuse.
This week marks my birthday, this is always a bad time for my anxiety, forcing myself to interact with people, and having to go outside. It also makes me reflect on my life, which never goes well, as I begin to pick at every negative experience in my life.
I promised my Therapist I would be nice to myself, which is so hard for me, but every time I’ve had a negative thought I force myself to say nice things about myself. It doesn’t stop the negativity but it does make me feel better.