The last few days I’ve been caught up in a depressive cycle, every time I’ve written my mind has gone blank, and the small pocket of inspiration vanishes in a cloud of grey.
Depression is so hard for me to handle, I just sit down and vegetate. Anxiety usual takes the wheel, it feels like my brain has gone from 100mph to zero, as the grey takes over my mind.
Feeling nothing scares me when I usually feel everything, and I turn into this monotone person. Everything I love doing now becomes the biggest chore ever, and I can never escape it.
My disorders all have their challenges, but depression feels like a giant pit, sucking the life out of everything in its path. I cannot stress enough how this feeling scares me, I could be like this for a day or a year.
I have no idea when this will end, but I hope I can raise awareness, as depression is never just feeling sad, its the absence of all feeling. The weight of the world just pushes you down until your crippled.
I hope this time passes quickly and I can get back to three disorders fighting for control. But to those of you who feel this daily, I cannot praise you enough, keeping putting up the good fight, and defeat the big black dog!